Matilda H.P.Q. Lovecraft! You’re not going to believe what happened! Soooo…
I popped my RIFT CLOSING CHERRY!
That slutty little rift couldn’t keep it’s damn legs closed! No seriously though Matty – it pooped out like ten frickin’ angry little spirits before I could get that thing shut! Huff! Wait, I’m really just skipping all the good stuff…all the foreplay. Sorry, you know how egg-cited I get.
It’s been so crazy lately with all the undercover stuff and conspiracy theories and all the distractions. I’ve been keeping a chronicle of the Legion’s affairs and it has been very demanding of my already packed schedule. I have been having some difficulty keeping my employer happy. Half the time I show up late – even though my travel time is near-instant. The other half the time I’m hopped up on energy drinks or passed out at the keyboard. It’s a real-shame I can’t work from home.
So before I get any further into what’s been happening I’ve got to recant my Rift-Closing endeavors, if not for myself, then for the good of the Goggle Chronicle and ALL MANKIND!!! This is no small feat. And, um, here is how it happened:
So the Autumnal equinox was approaching and I gathered all available hands-on-deck with my winsome smile and cult-of-personality charisma…and some whining and begging and some knee-scuffing pleas. Doc Prop, Bog-tart, Verge, and I headed over to the Zericho Wax Museum a few days before the celestial bodies aligned for the equinox to do some investigation. There were quite a few creepy, scandalous, and really seedy sorts hanging in the general vicinity and Verge informed us that we were encroaching on gang territory. The exact location of the museum isn’t important but it runs RIGHT through one of the Century Station ley lines – JUST like the meeting place of the Telestic Society. So, of course, I was in my element…but I felt badly for the other members of the Legion. They came along to support me and I was GRATEFUL for it but I wouldn’t realize how unprepared we were until much later.
We performed a search of the entire building and found the signs of vagrancy and vandalism. Standard faire – but it seemed that even homeless people tend to shy away from haunted houses and spooky ghost stories. And one of the rarest and oddest things that wasn’t completely picked clean was an old leather-bound book. Might have been human skin for all I knew. But it was written in Latin and I could read it decently well. The book was kept hidden from me by the paranoid doctor for a while but he scanned it and sent it out to his labs and then sent me a digital copy.
Once I started really dissecting the text I realized that these were SPELLS!!! And that even an untrained up-start could figure out and piece together how to make these spells work!!! This was very disconcerting. I boned-up on it the best I could in the scant few days we had before the Autumnal Equinox and…we returned. We weren’t sure what to expect but we were as unprepared as we could possibly be! That’s what it’s like to be Super. Regardless, right about sun-down I could feel the mystic energies coalescing and we went back downstairs into the basement. There was a veneer of dust over everything and old melted candle wax and some old, crusty smeared bloodstains. It was really cozy.
Well it didn’t take long before we saw a seam appear and then begin to tear…like the very fabric of reality was actually splitting in half! I swear, had I not had a magical education and Bumblebore for a father I would have sworn that I was hallucinating! Watching a rift expand and emerge for the first time was…breathtaking. There are really no other words to describe it. I felt both humbled and awed at the same time…powerless and powerful and…completely in shock…
Until spirits and entities and invisible baddy ghosty things started whizzing through the hole and possessing people. HOLY SHOTTT!!!!! I pulled up the spellbook on my PDA super fast and began to breeze through the hour-long ritual of CLOTHESING A RIFT!!!! HOLY DOUBLE SHOTTT!!! So we sacrificed a few kittens, beheaded a couple bunnies, and I ended up consuming a snotload of potential psychic energy from both the ley line and the Legionairres who contributed. I literally felt…diminished somehow…when at the apex of the ritual the seam began to mend and wove its way upward into nonexistence. HOLY TRIPLE SHOTTT!!! Daby and Barney were shocked and awed and the Legion agreed that next time we’d prepare a little better. All told we allowed 10 miscreant spirits through and they’re currently “at large” and wreaking havoc. However, I can say with certainty and finality, that the recurring nature of this Autumnal Equinox Haunting of the Zericho Wax Museum is OVER. Legion prevails!